


Teenage Sex God

by billbert



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Lingerie, M/M, Smut, Sub Dave, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, Yaoi, camboy, cute outfits, idk - Freeform, this is dumb lol, uke dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:20:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billbert/pseuds/billbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider is a webcam stripper. He gets quite a good amount of cash for this little job, and he's got a devoted fanbase online. Of course, no one at his school knows about this, but things do seem to have a way of getting out. Especially where his best friend John is concerned. Lmao this is dumb</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fullscreen

**Author's Note:**

> dave strider be a ho

Dave was sitting idly on his bed, typing away to his best friend, John Egbert. The keyboard was glitching the fuck up, making it take about three goddamn minutes to write each message. He _really_ needed a new phone. Well, luckily, he was saving up money at a quicker rate than usual, mostly thanks to the continued support he was getting from his online fans. Come to think of it, he only had twenty minutes before it was time for him to start. He’d better say bye to John and get his shit together.

TG: i gotta go bro 

TG: lotsa shit to be done 

EB: oh...okay dave! talk to you later, i guess!

He turned his phone off and sighed, placing it tenderly on the bedside table. His heart broke a little more each time he talked to John- hey, wait, how’d that thought get- nevermind. Dave’s thoughts were mostly ironic anyways. Nothing he should get concerned about.

He made his way over to the closet, pulling open the door and being careful not to let it creak. If Bro heard, he might try to unlock the door with a butter knife again. And that shit always ended in unmitigated disaster. Dave’s closet consisted of two main parts – his everyday casual wear, and his...er...”work clothes”.

He pulled out a tight-fitting crop top with “twerk it” emblazoned across the front and replaced his baggy t-shirt with it. It truly was a work of art. Five dollars at H&M – it’d been on sale and Dave hadn’t been able to resist. He then exchanged his overly-skinny jeans for a plaid miniskirt. Don’t judge. That shit made Dave’s ass look like a glorious dessert or something.

Oh, and can’t forget the thigh-highs. The thigh-highs were key. After the internet went crazy for them, due to some random Japanese perverts fetishizing them into oblivion, they were one of the safest ways to guarantee that the cash would pour in.

After he’d changed, Dave gave himself a once-over in the mirror, removing his dark sunglasses. He wasn’t ashamed to let strangers online see his bright red eyes – they all assumed he was wearing color contacts anyways. He looked pretty good. It’d be a decent show today, he presumed. Hopefully he’d make a lot.

Leaning over the desk, he started up his laptop and made sure his webcam was working as usual. Then he logged on, setting up the group chat on his profile, but not before tweeting his followers that the show was about to start.

Being a camboy definitely had its disadvantages. Dave lived in fear of his classmates stumbling across his profile or twitter account – he’d never be able to live something like that down. Making a living off of your body wasn’t exactly something you could downplay by claiming you were only doing it ironically, after all.

But it also had some really great advantages. First of all, it was a great ego boost. To bask in the knowledge that hundreds of people were devoting their time to appreciating your body was certainly flattering. And secondly, the money was great. Far better than Dave had ever expected. He catered to a specific demographic – gay men who wanted a cute twink. And let’s face it – the pedos would pay anything to see an adorable blonde like Dave take off his clothes.

It made him shudder to think about it, but then he thought of his new phone, and how much easier it would be to write messages to John.

Oh, John...if only he knew what Dave had to do to fucking write proper texts to him.

Dave leaned over so his face was showing in the webcam, and he typed a welcome message to the first few people who were visiting the chat room. Had to inform the newbies, after all.

hey sup 

glad youre here to watch this shit happen 

tip me if you like what you see 

and if you got somethin youd like me to do specifically for you 

well 

you gotta pay for it

xx dave

Dave had always been a little nervous of the fact that he was using his own name as his screen name, but it’s not like people could find him by searching “dave”, after all. It was too common to be incriminating.

Oh, some regulars were coming online. Nice.

Dave watched the number of people in the room go from 20 to 75 to 250, and even after all these months, it was still startling. He gave the camera a cute smile and a wave as he prepared himself.

Scrolling through his iTunes, he put on a playlist of chilled-out music with a good beat that he could easily strip to. Once the music got going and the messages started to filter in, Dave took a step back from his laptop and blew all his fans a kiss.

He couldn’t deny that he loved all the attention.

Looking cute tonight, as usual. <3 

Take it off, sexy!! Shake that ass!! 

You’re so adorable – the things I would do to you if only I could! 

heeeeyy we gonna see some skin yet, or what? ;) 

oooooh! love your cute outfit~

As his screen buzzed with flattering messages, Dave smiled and began to sway his hips in time with the music. He’d done this so many times before that he felt he’d perfected the art of it. The way he ran his hands over his body to tease his audience automatically made his screen beep – the sound it made when somebody tipped him.

He smirked in satisfaction and twirled around a bit, bending over slightly to give the viewers a better view. He had a great butt, so of course he was gonna show it off. Duh.

hey! nice shirt, haha!! take it off! 

_ **eggy has tipped you 20 dollars.**_

Oh. One of his most loyal customers trying to speed things up, as usual. He hated having to oblige Eggy’s orders, but he was an impatient sort of guy, and he left good tips. So Dave winked at the camera. “Thanks-“ He cooed in the voice he used to win over his audience – it was about an octave higher than his natural way of speaking.

The “twerk it” shirt fell unceremoniously to the floor, and after that, the show was all a blur. It always felt that way. He’d get paid into removing all his clothing (except the socks, they always had to stay on, unless some foot fetishist happened to show up), and then he’d move the laptop over to his bed so his viewers could watch him fuck himself with one of his many dildos.

It was usually around that point that he forgot he was being watched. In situations like those, you had to separate yourself from what was happening. He blocked off the thoughts of all the old men watching him do something so depraved and focused on his fantasies. He imagined it was John who was inside him – he wasn’t ashamed to admit that.

And when it was all over, he’d usually barely kept himself from screaming the other’s name.

How much had he made today?

_Congratulations! You have made 225 dollars today!_

That much? Really? Eggy must’ve been feeling generous. Either that, or some rich guys had managed to find him. Fucking finally.

Dave shut off his laptop and hurried to clean himself off. There was always a little sense of guilt after he’d done a show. It lasted for a few minutes – a feeling like he was doing something wrong, that he’d regret this. But he ignored it, and it went away.

He convinced himself that _no,_ this had nothing to do with Bro being disappointed. Nothing to do with not being pure enough for John. (Not that that’d ever happen anyways.) It probably had something to do with the fact that if people found out he was still underage, he could get in quite a bit of trouble.

He was still exhausted – the hot shower had done him no favors. He was even too tired for his usual night-time dorito munch. So, feeling deflated and worn out, he flopped onto his bed and grabbed his phone, checking if John had texted him anything else.

EB: dave, if you’re still up, i just wanna tell you you’re really amazing.

What the fuck was that all about? Dave could feel his stupid heartbeat start to pick up speed, and his cheeks warmed up as he read the text over and over. This sort of thing came totally out of the blue.

TG: yo thanks 

TG: you too 

EB: i just worry about you sometimes! :( are you doing alright? 

TG: um yes 

TG: why would you think im not totally chill as a pill 

EB: it’s nothing, don’t worry about it! sorry i’m being weird. 

TG: yea k goodnight weirdo

Dave had absolutely no idea what that shit was about, but he was still a little happy about that first message. He’d ask John about all the rest of it tomorrow at school. For now, he really, really needed his sleep.

Aw yeah.


	2. Failed Fap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bro no

Dave woke up the next morning refreshed, which was a little weird, since usually his dreams woke him up during the night. Well, he wasn’t complaining at all. He deserved a good night’s sleep. Unfortunately, the fact that he’d actually been able to get some decent shuteye also meant that he’d woken up an hour later than usual. So no time for breakfast, barely enough time to take a lightning-fast shower. He bolted out of bed (which was honestly difficult to do in the morning) and dashed towards the bathroom.

But it was locked.

“Bro!” Dave yelled, pounding on the door. God dammit. His bro was famous for taking three hour-long existential showers, and usually Dave woke up early enough to get in there first. Fuck, he was going to be really late today. “Bro, please! I’ll be late to school if you don’t open this goddamn door and let me in the shower!” Dave yelled. He knew it was futile, and that the door was going to remain locked for another hour, at least, but he still banged his fists against the wood in a desperate attempt to get his way.

And to his surprise, the door unlocked.

Dave ceased his tantrum and looked quizzically at the door handle before cautiously making his way inside. He had no idea what to expect – did Bro really pause his shower session? That never happened. Something weird was going on, and it was making Dave nervous.

“David.” Bro began, standing stark naked in the middle of the bathroom. Ew. Typical. “We need to have a talk about your behavior.”

Dave quickly put his hands over his eyes, honestly a little disgusted by the sight of his Bro’s...you-know-what. This situation was totally surreal. “I’ll talk to you if you put a towel on.” Dave muttered.

“David Elizabeth Strider. You’re acting as if you’re uncomfortable with nudity, when I know for a fact that you’re more than comfortable with it. Stop lying and hiding your face. Look at me.” Bro said sternly, walking a couple paces towards the other.

Dave was confused beyond all belief at this point, but he obliged the other’s orders and looked up at him, making sure his eyes didn’t accidentally wander down there. “What’s the problem? I really need to get showered, I’m going to be late to school. This goddamn talk can wait, okay?” Dave said, a bit annoyed at his brother for blocking his path to the shower.

“David. This morning I was going to masturbate to some videos on the internet. I logged on to my favorite porn site. And then, I searched for videos of cute naked boys.” Bro said, his tone unflinching.

“Yes, great, hope you had a nice fap, now will you let me in the fucking shower? What is this, some sort of masturbation conference? You want me to share my experiences too?” Dave asked sarcastically, giving the other a thoroughly grossed-out look.

“Listen to me, David. I clicked on a video with a sexy thumbnail and started to watch. It took me a while to realize, but this video took place in your room. The lighting was weird, so I thought I was mistaken, but then the boy turned to face the camera, and it was you. David, you are too young to be making videos like that. Don’t be a little whore.”

Dave blushed, his eyes wide. He should’ve known that the conversation was taking that sort of turn. Oh god--- what should he do now? What could he do? There was no was he was gonna quit his job, but...jesus fish-fucking christ, his brother had almost jerked off to a video of him! His bro! And if his bro could find that video...what was stopping Terezi from finding it? Or Karkat? Or even John?

He’d never live it down!

“Bro, uh...yeah, I’m just doing that for the extra cash. Need to cop a new phone, ya know.” He murmured nonchalantly. “And I’m not gonna stop doing it. I’ll be old enough to make those videos in, like, a year anyways. It doesn’t matter, it’s not like my age is posted there.” He shrugged.

Bro stared him down, obviously very disappointed in him. “I can’t stop you from doing what you want to do on the internet, Dave. But I think that this is a mistake. Your videos are out there, and anyone could find them if they knew where to look.” He said, his tone softening a little as he (oh thank god) wrapped a towel around his waist and made his way out of the bathroom. “Shower’s all yours.”

Dave was on the verge of tears the second his bro left. God, he was right. This was probably a huge, huge mistake. Whatever, he couldn’t quit now – his fans would definitely freak out. And besides, he was so close to affording that new phone... He thought about it as he showered – how he’d react if his friends found out about his little ‘hobby’. Terezi probably wouldn’t give a shit after she finished laughing at him. Karkat would go utterly ballistic and never let him forget it. Sollux would probably use it as a way to insult him for the rest of the year. And John...

John would probably be ashamed to be associated with Dave after that. There was no way in hell he’d ever let John find out. And it’s not like John was scouring the internet for those sorts of videos, anyways. It’d take a guy with...er...with bro’s unique tastes to find any archived video of Dave. 

After he’d gotten dressed and ready, Dave glanced out of the window and saw that the bus was pulling up at the stop across the street. Shit. This was just like in those goddamn animes where the chick runs across the street with a fucking piece of toast in her mouth. Dave immediately recreated those goddamn animes, albeit without the piece of toast. He managed to just make it in time to get on the bus. He was out of breath and his sunglasses were lopsided (and his hair was a fucking mess), but he’d made it.

And hallelujah, Egbert had saved him a seat! How thoughtful of him.

Dave made his way over to John, trying his goddamn best to catch his breath. “Sup-“ He panted, sitting down next to his bro for life. The way John looked today made Dave’s heartbeat speed up a little, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. His hair was so cute, the way it stuck out in a bunch of different directions, like it couldn’t fucking decide what to do with itself. And his eyes were so blue that Dave couldn’t help but blush.

Not that John would notice how flushed Dave’s face was – John didn’t tend to notice much of anything. He was a little bit of an airhead, after all.

“Hey, Dave! How’re you? Looks like you woke up a little too late, huh?” John chuckled, indicating Dave’s messy hair. Dammit. He probably looked beyond stupid.

“I’m...just tryin’ out a new look. You know. Fabulous douchebag, circa 1995.” He fronted, awkwardly fixing his hair up a little bit. If John didn’t notice his blush now, he was obviously blind, because Dave had effectively gone crimson.

But wait – what the fuck?

John looked like he was blushing a little bit, too. Come to think of it, he’d been weird for the past couple weeks. Not noticeably, but just enough to make Dave wonder what was up. He wondered what went on inside John’s head that was making him even more of a dork than usual.

“Dude, you okay?” Dave asked, poking John’s cheek.

“I’m fine, I was just thinking about something. By the way, did you know that I got asked to prom already?” John blurted in excitement. Oh, god. Dave really didn’t want to hear any of this. It would only break his heart even more.

“That’s cool.” Dave managed to smile. “But tell me about it later – we’re here already.” He sighed, thanking god that the bus driver was the sort of guy who didn’t give a shit about speed limits.

He hurried off the bus before John could say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie next chapter gonna b more interestin


	3. Skipping Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave skips class to jack off because he's dumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took me so long to do this chapter lmao  
> i got sick and plus i was banned from internet for a few days but w/e hope u enjoy

Dave’s head was spinning with the new information, his heart pounding in that terrible way. Oh god, why had he acted so upset over some girl asking John to prom? Why did he care? But there was that terrible, _jealous_ clenching in his stomach that he just couldn’t ignore. He shouldn’t give a shit about this sort of thing. John was obviously a good-looking guy, he was tall and his smile was stunning. So of _course_ he’d captured the interest of some girl. And of course he’d accepted her offer.

Of course.

That was a perfectly normal course of action, right? John liked girls. He’d made that fact very clear to Karkat, back in freshman year when he’d asked John out. The memory made Dave giggle a little – I mean, Karkat’s love confessions were always something to remember. They were mostly yelling and overdramatic declarations of emotion, and they almost always ended badly.

Dave latched onto that funny little memory to keep himself from getting too upset as he walked up to the school. God forbid John catch up to him. Knowing John, he’d definitely want to gossip more about his blossoming love life. He’d never actually had a girlfriend before, a fact Dave was stupidly glad about. But he knew John had flirted with girls at parties, maybe had a couple of kisses here and there. Dave, on the other hand, was traditionally reclusive, and hadn’t even held anyone’s hand before. At least, not in the romantic sense.

Shit –

Thinking about his trainwreck of a love life was getting Dave down in the dumps. He needed to stop getting so worked up over this. Okay – what usually helped? He could talk to his friends...nah. None of them even knew about his feelings towards John. Maybe he could cut class and browse tumblr in the computer lab. He used to do that a lot, but he got in trouble for it, and it probably wasn’t worth it at this point. He could message his followers...maybe...

That actually wasn’t too bad of an idea.

He’d done it a couple times. Stolen away into the school bathrooms, making sure nobody was there (the ones on the third floor were almost always empty during the morning lessons), and posted a suggestive selfie on his page to tease his fans. Almost instantly, he’d get a plethora of responses, all begging him to do a more personal show right then and there. Evidently, it turned them on to know he was cutting class to do things like this.

Although Dave never really saw the appeal in watching a guy jack off in a public restroom.

He knew homeroom wasn’t really a class worth missing, but John might wonder where he went—Nah. John would be too busy fawning over the floozy that had fucking asked him to prom. The thought of him with a beautiful girl draping herself on him was enough to push Dave into making the decision.

Definitely cutting class, definitely releasing this sexual frustration, definitely getting an ego boost.

He stormed upstairs, anger powering his footsteps. He gave everyone who looked at him a dirty look – even though they couldn’t see it through his dark sunglasses. Once he’d reached the third floor, the bell rang, and people began to filter out of the bathroom and into their respective classes. He casually walked by the door to his homeroom class, and no one noticed him – thank god.

He was able to duck into the empty bathrooms, and into the biggest stall.

Still panting from walking up two fucking flights of stairs, he leaned against the wall and pulled out his phone. The reception up here wasn’t too bad, and the two bars of wi-fi he had should serve his purposes nicely.

He tugged up his shirt a bit, and it was tight enough on his body that it stayed in place, exposing his chest. Promptly, he removed his sunglasses and tucked them into his pocket – to get anyone interested in what he was about to do, they had to see the lust in his eyes.

All his fans referred to it as his ‘gimmick’ – his bright red eyes. They all thought he wore colored lenses, and he was reluctant to tell anyone that they were actually natural. He was born with them, and the reason he wore the sunglasses was partially due to the fact that he didn’t really want anyone looking at them.

He raised his phone slightly over his head to get the best angle, and pouted a little at the camera, making sure his eyes had a sexual look in them. He quickly added a filter to the photo (he was in denial over being a hipster) and posted it to his page, along with the caption:

hey

i dont usually do this but im at school and i really dont wanna go to class

so i was thinkin of putting on a little show right now

you guys interested?

And after a few minutes, he got some responses from some of the more dedicated fans.

totally! i’m always willing to watch you ;)

hell yes!! i’m staying home today anyways, so i have all the time in the world <3

yes please~ you look fucking sexy today, as usual :*

Dave couldn’t help but smile at the responses – I mean, it made him feel like a slut for doing stuff like this, but these people were never anything but positive and nice to him. It was such a surreal thing.

He quickly opened up the chatroom and set up the camera on his phone – doing shows on his phone was always a little difficult, but he’d manage. He always did.

He held the camera up as he leaned against the wall, unzipping his pants a bit. He had his phone on mute, but he could still see notifications popping up to show that he was already receiving tips. Damn. Maybe he should do stuff like this more often.

With one hand, he started to slide his pants off his slim hips, and he smiled up at the camera. The little window in the corner of the screen that showed him what his viewers were seeing indicated that he was totally blushing like a goddamn idiot. Whatever. His audience probably appreciated that – it was a bit of a rare occurrence, after all.

Once he’d manage to pull his pants and boxers down around his thighs, he gripped his already-hard dick and looked up at the camera in embarrassment. It was always a little unreal doing something like this, and he was immediately reminded of why he kept these school-sessions to a minimum.

What if someone heard him? What if people came in? What if someone posted this video on the internet and one of his classmates found it and posted it on facebook and---

Fuck.

Someone was in the stall next to Dave. He couldn’t quit his show now, but he had to be as discreet as possible. As he started to stroke himself, he became acutely aware of all the sounds around himself. Particularly those of the person in the stall next to him. The unzipping of his pants, the little sigh he made as he sat down, and –

Holy shit, was this guy actually jacking off?

How fucking ironic.

It put Dave at ease a bit, to know this guy was doing the same thing he was doing. In fact, it actually turned him on a bit more, as weird as that was. So he continued with the show until he came, letting out some particularly embarrassing moans and whimpers that his fans seemed to really enjoy, and then he waved goodbye to his viewers, thanking them for all of their tips.

Right before he logged off and was about to clean himself up, he read the last message.

great show! you’re super cute :D

** _eggy has tipped you 20 dollars._ **

How long had _he_ been there?


	4. Fantasizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dave is so in love whoops

Dave rushed out of the bathroom, his head buzzing with static. He was glad to have Eggy watching his shows, but usually he was busy during this time. Dave would know. He shook it off, figuring he’d probably stayed home from work that day, for one reason or another. While he washed his hands, he heard Mr. Fap in the stalls zipping up his pants, and Dave had to hurry out.

He didn’t want to confront the guy whom he’d just inadvertently shared a mutual masturbation sorta thing with. It’d be beyond awkward. Besides, second period was already starting, and he had to get to his classroom quickly.

He jogged down the stairs, his cheeks still flushed from everything that had just happened, and he managed to get to class on time. It was...shit. Biology? Something like that. John’s seat was still empty, to Dave’s confusion. Egbert never missed a class. Maybe he was sick or something...

Dave took his usual seat and continuously glanced at the empty space next to him as the class began. Where _was_ John? Maybe Dave should text him? Whatever, he was probably fine.

And at that moment, John entered the room, looking even more disheveled than usual. “Sorry I’m late!” He blurted, rushing to his seat. He had a bit of a worried look on his face, and Dave found it disheartening. It was always unbelievably shitty when John wasn’t in a good mood.

“Dude, where were you?” Dave asked, looking up at his friend. John shushed him, lest the teacher get pissed off at them. But the blonde didn’t give up that easily. This was probably the first time in their entire high school career that John had actually come to class more than a minute late. So Dave poked him and jabbed at him with his elbow, and eventually John rolled his eyes and ripped out a piece of notebook paper so they could communicate without getting in trouble.

_ i was in the bathroom! gosh, dave! _

_ well sorry i dont know everything _

_ sorry i was worried about you _

_ no, its okay, i just...had to take a dump! _

_ um yeah that mightve been a little too much info _

Dave smirked, shoving the paper back in John’s direction. He was such a ditz. Seriously? Missing class to take a massive shit? Well, it happened to everyone.

But there was something about that little guilty pout on John’s face that Dave was suspicious of. He just couldn’t quite trust him. And that was really fucking weird, because John might’ve been the last innocent, honest guy left in the entire state. Maybe that’s why Dave found him so attractive.

He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times he’d fantasized about taking some of that innocence away. He’d bring him behind the school, push him up against the wall and kiss him. Hard.

And then, something _else_ would get hard, namely something in John’s pants, and Dave would kneel down in front of him. He’d take off his sunglasses and look up at him just so he could see how much he really wanted this. And John would nod as if to give his approval, and Dave would unzip those slightly-too-short jeans of his, smiling at how embarrassed he got.

_“I thought you were straight.”_

_“Well, I’d make an exception for you, Dave...of course I would.”_

And he’d stroke John’s aching dick just to tease him, kissing the tip of it in the most suggestive way possible (he’d practiced enough with dildos on camera, after all), and then he’d bring it into his mouth to take it in – all the way to the base. He’d been working on his gag reflex for so long that this was an easy feat for him. He’d make John moan and clamp a hand over his mouth. And he’d make him cum – and god damn, Dave would swallow every last drop.

_“Dave, that was—that was amazing—“_

And Dave would just smile knowingly, get on tiptoe, and kiss him tenderly, running his pale hand through John’s insanely tangled hair. And it would be so sappy and romantic and cliché but Dave wouldn’t care. When it was with John...that sorta stuff was totally okay.

_“Dave, I love you—“_

And that’s when the fantasy would get far too sad for Dave to endure. He knew John wouldn’t ever feel that way about him, but...somehow he always drifted off into these sorts of scenarios. It must be something in John’s eyes – Dave couldn’t stay focused when he looked into them.

Jolting back into reality, he looked at the notebook on his desk, face flushed an embarrassing shade of red. John giggled and nudged him annoyingly.

“Dude, you were totally staring at me!” He whispered, that adorable little chuckle still seeping into the spaces between his words. Dave practically melted, but he regained his composure quickly enough to think of a retort that wouldn’t make him sound like a complete idiot.

“Um...yeah, you look so stupid that I was just awestruck for a second there.” He muttered, raising a brow and smirking a little. John snickered and got back to taking notes, which he’d evidently doing for the past however-many minutes, seeing as half the page he was writing on was covered in text. Dave quickly worked on his own notes, scrawling messily in a desperate attempt to catch up.

After class (double periods of Biology were always killers), Dave quickly made his way to his squad’s usual hangout spot, hoping to walk faster than John. Things between them were just too awkward today, and Dave didn’t want to fuck anything up. God, he loved him so much...he might just blurt it out, right then and there. And he couldn’t let that happen under any circumstance.

Maybe John would spend the 20-minute break with that skank he was taking to prom.

Dave was not bitter at all.

And by that, he meant he was absolutely bitter – so bitter that his friends immediately took notice.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Terezi asked with her massive fucking mouth, slinging a friendly arm around Dave, much to Karkat’s chagrin. “Love troubles? Is it ‘cuz your guy-crush is going with Serket to the prom?” She chuckled, hitting the nail on the head as always.

But of course, Dave refused to let her know that she’d hit the nail on the head.

“Nah. I’m happy for him.” Dave shrugged, not even bothering to acknowledge the fact that she’d just referred to John as his “guy-crush”.

“There’s no way you could be happy about that if you like him, Dave. Shit, you probably couldn’t even be happy if you two had planned on going together just as friends!” His friend Sollux lisped, giving him a quizzical look. “I mean, the guy I like is going with someone else, and do you see me being happy? No, you see me being a fucking miserable sack of shit!”

“Ooh, who’s the lucky guy, Sollux?” Terezi chuckled, leaning closer. They couldn’t ever pry that information from him, but it was pretty obvious who Sollux liked, and it always had been. Dave could only pray that his crush wasn’t that noticeable. Sure, it was a running gag among his friends that he was “homo for Egbert”, but...

He couldn’t _actually_ tell them.

Despite how he wanted everyone, including John, to know.

He just couldn’t.


	5. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE EXAMS RIGHT NOW SO THATS WHY I HAVENT UPDATED IN FOREVER!!!!!!!!!  
> HOPEFULLY PEOPLE STILL READ THIS???? I HAVENT GIVEN UP ON IT <3   
> LOVE YALL   
> HAVE SOME CRYING DAVE FOR THE SOUL  
> PEACE

It had been a long day. Dave was half-dead by the end of it – all the excitement of the morning had waned, and the last couple of periods seemed to drag on and on. It was a miracle he hadn’t fallen asleep.

John caught him on his way out of school, grabbing his arm needily.

“Dave, wait up!” He laughed, and Dave couldn’t help but turn around and smile at the other. That laugh was so infectious. But he really, _really_ didn’t want to walk home with him today. That might kill him. He’d been on the verge of confessing all morning, and it was getting increasingly difficult not to fucking blurt out his feelings. And for the master of concealed emotions, this was a pretty rare occurrence.

But he conceded and let John walk beside him.

“So…how’s your date? You excited to go?” Dave said nonchalantly, trying to act as if he really didn’t give a shit that John was going with Vriska to the prom. Vriska wasn’t _that_ pretty. And she was totally flat-chested. Was that John’s type? Was John more of a butt guy?

“I’m excited to go, for sure! And…yeah, I guess I am sort of a ‘butt guy’. But I think the face is the thing that catches my attention most…I mean, I dunno. I don’t think about this stuff too much, Dave!” He chuckled. Shit. Had Dave actually just asked John Egbert whether or not he was a ‘butt guy’? And _fuck,_ why was he so happy about that? Was it because, unlike tits, a great ass was actually something Dave had…? Oh god, let’s ride the train of thought right up nope mountain and crash and burn in dave-is-gay valley.

“Yeah. I’m happy for you. And butts are great. I like butts. Yeah. Girls.” Dave said, totally hiding his blatant homosexuality from the last person on earth who had managed to avoid knowing about it.

“Dave, who are you gonna ask to prom?” John smiled, putting an arm around the other ( _holyshithe’stouchingmewhatifigetaboner)_ and looking down at him expectantly. Dave really didn’t know how to answer that question. Honestly? He didn’t even want to go. It was too much of a hassle, and too much heartbreak. He’d invite Sollux over for movie night, seeing as Sollux probably didn’t want to watch his ‘prince’ dance with that cute hipster girl from art class. At least they both knew how unrequited love felt. (But really, Dave still couldn’t bring himself to believe that Eridan was straight. I mean, come on. The dude’s jeans are so tight that he looks like he’s gonna pass out at any given moment. Whereas  John…straightest dude ever. Therefore, Dave is the undisputed winner of the ‘in love with a straight guy’ contest).

“Prom…? Nah. Not going. Too cool for that scene. You know how it is. I got a mixtape to release, some shit to do, gotta tweet at my followers, update my tumblr…maybe have a movie night with the other dateless losers.” He shrugged, his tone as blank as he could manage to get it. And when he looked over at John… _shit,_ was John actually _disappointed?_

“I don’t know if I wanna go if you’re not gonna be there, Dave. Vriska’s great, but…I dunno. Bros before hos, right?” He smiled, giving Dave an encouraging sort of look that absolutely shattered him. John cared so much, and yet…he knew so little. It was absolutely infuriating, and Dave could _not_ stand it for one more fucking second. It was too much.

 

_I should just kiss him. I’ll kiss him and run away and never talk to him again._

But he couldn’t bring himself to abandon John there like that. He’d take friendship over nothing, but these days he was almost wishing he’d never met John. He felt guilty, but he just couldn’t look at him without thinking about how much _closer_ he wanted to get to him. It was really shitty and Dave was-

“Hey – dude, are you crying? Dave, what’s wrong?” John asked sympathetically, stopping dead in his tracks and leaning over a little to look at the pathetic blond in front of him. Dave was totally humiliated – he hadn’t even realized the tears he’d been holding back. Oh god, this was so stupid! He was just like an emo middle-schooler with an impossible crush on the popular boy. He should go home and listen to My Chemical Romance and slit his wrists or some shit. He certainly deserved to hurt at this point.

“My—John, my eyes…my eyes are just watering. The wind. You know.” He managed to stammer, his voice a little choked up at this point. Oh god. He couldn’t play this off, could he?

“Dave, you’re _crying!_ That’s so rare- you have to tell me what happened, right now! You _never_ cry!” John said, getting worried and agitated. “Look- did some girl reject you when you asked her to prom? Is that what happened? Because if she did, she’s a total dumb bitch, okay? You’re amazing – any girl would be lucky to have you! I mean…you’re totally attractive, totally smart, totally funny…you’re the whole package, Dave! If anyone turned you down, they’re out of their mind!”

That was it – Dave let himself cry. He let the tears fall and he no longer gave a shit. After that little uplifting speech, he didn’t know what to say. Actually, he knew exactly what he wanted to say. He wanted to say a lot of things.

 

_I don’t like girls._

_That’s not why I’m crying._

_Yeah, someone broke my heart._

_They’re still breaking it._

_Even right now, when they think they’re being such a good friend, touching me and saying such sweet things-_

_It breaks my heart._

_You break my heart, John._

_John, I—_

 

John was staring at Dave, slack-jawed, his hand now hovering over the other’s shoulder. His blue eyes were blank with confusion, and he drew his lips together into the most questioning frown of all time.

“Dave…what?” He asked in a whisper, as if he were afraid that someone would hear them.

Dave’s heart stopped. Had he really just- shit. SHIT. ABORT MISSION.

He sprinted away, as fast as his legs could take him. He wasn’t the strongest guy, and his stamina was usually pretty low, but today- he knew he had no choice but to run. He’d just spewed sappy heartbroken poetry at his straight best friend! Fuck. He ran until he couldn’t anymore – and the moment his legs gave out happened to be the exact moment that he reached his apartment. Oh, the convenience.

His life was officially over.


	6. Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> escape from witch mountain lmao
> 
> my exams are in full swing and im having a hard time with em :(  
> life is tough! but im gonna try to update once a week ^^  
> thanks for reading <3

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Dave’s mind was a blur of obscenities as he stumbled into his thankfully-empty apartment. He couldn’t believe that he’d just _confessed his undying affections for John “No Homo” Egbert._ It was a suicide mission, and now all Dave could do was blissfully await death’s sweet embrace.

It dawned on him, however, that John might’ve…John might’ve followed him. I mean, that’s what best friends do – they chase after each other when one of them reveals their gay love and bursts into tears. He had to flee the apartment. If there was even a _tiny_ chance that John would show up knocking at his door, demanding answers, he had to bail. He never wanted to see John again.

Well, that was a lie.

But he _couldn’t_ see John again. Not after this. It was just…well, he’d ruined things beyond repair, and he was sure they wouldn’t be able to stay friends. He didn’t want to go to school. He didn’t want to work to take his mind off of things. He needed someone to talk to, a place no one would consider looking…

Karkat’s house? Maybe…nah. His brother was disgustingly adorable and a major tool, plus he knew Bro. He’d probably phone him up and check to make sure he knew where Dave was…that’d end in a lecture, for sure.

Terezi’s house? No way! As gay as he was, her parents might get the wrong idea when they found a strange boy sleeping over in her bedroom. He’d get kicked out in ten seconds flat, and explaining himself was far too embarrassing.

Sollux’s house? Well…Sollux’s entire extended family was cramped into one tiny, two-story house, so there might not be room. But no one would bother him there. The Captors were famously reclusive, and Dave knew for a fact that the majority of them only spoke Korean. It was his only hope at this point, as unappealing as it sounded. A night away would clear his head, and give him time to plan his next move.

All Dave knew was that he never wanted to go to school again!

He hurriedly packed a bag full of the essentials – he could always make a quick pit stop back at the apartment when he knew for sure that Bro wouldn’t be around. All he needed were a few outfits and his toiletries. And his old, shitty phone. Oh, and his laptop…oh, and a couple of his work outfits. He’d need those if he were to run away. God knows he’d need the money.

 

Shit-

 

He heard footsteps. Oh god, was Bro home already? Had John followed him? Either way, he needed to get out, fast. He flung open the apartment door and slammed it behind him, sprinting down the hall before the invader had the chance to notice. He was halfway down the stairs when he started crying again. Blame it on bottled-up emotions, they were as good a reason as any to sob. He got some pretty weird looks as he dashed out of the complex, but he paid them no heed – not like he’d be coming back to this colossal shithole anytime soon.

 

If the run to Sollux’s house was long and tiring, Dave hadn’t noticed. All he could picture was the confusion in John’s eyes, and he needed to erase that memory as soon as he could. There was a pounding in his chest, a throbbing in his head, and it felt like his world was ending. Well, it was, wasn’t it? John _was_ his world.

He rang the bell, panting and using his free hand to brush aside the stray tears that sat on his cheeks like little bubbles of disappointment. There was a wait, and muffled Korean shouting from inside the abode. The language was foreign to Dave, but he knew that even English seemed like a jumbled garble of nothingness to him right now.

To his great relief, the one who opened up the door was none other than Sollux, who, embarrassingly enough, was wearing nothing but a hoodie and boxers. If he was shy about his immodesty, he didn’t show it. He gave the distressed blonde a nonchalant look of mild concern, raising an eyebrow. “Hey…what’s wrong?” He asked softly, holding the door open a little wider in a gesture of invitation.

Dave stared down at his shoes awkwardly. “I- I kinda need a place to stay for the night. Do you have any room? I don’t mind being on the floor.” He murmured, not daring to look into the other’s heterochromatic eyes, which were currently unadorned with his usual silly glasses.

Sollux beckoned him inside, easily picking up on the fact that Dave had somehow been utterly destroyed. His first guess was that it had something to do with John, but he didn’t mention anything. After all, Strider’s home situation had always sounded a little sketchy, so maybe he had a far more legitimate reason for running away.

And Dave accepted the invitation graciously, trying to give his friend a timid smile, but mostly failing at that. He kicked his shoes off in the entryway and followed behind the other, who stayed quiet. Dave thanked him immensely for that. It was one of the reasons he hung around Sollux so much – the guy was never unnecessarily loud or prying, he would sit and listen to you until you decided to speak.

Members of his family were strewn about the house, chattering haphazardly to one another and occasionally tossing Dave a glance of confusion. Sollux would chirp something back and they would nod and go back to their business. Hearing his friend speak another language was always somewhat alienating, but he didn’t mind being excluded from these conversations too much.

 

Sollux shared a room with his older brother, Mituna, who was something of an idiot savant, and severely underestimated by his family – or at least, that’s what Dave had heard. And upon seeing the two of them, Mituna leapt up from the bottom space of the bunk bed, smiling wide. It was apparent that their family didn’t exactly have many guests over.

“Hey—Sollux, who’s this cocksucker? Hehehe- your boyfriend? Wow, lemme get in on that action! Threeway? Threeway, anyone? Hehe—“ Mituna garbled, lurching towards them. It felt somewhat pedophilic in nature due to the fact that Dave wasn’t sure Mituna had surpassed five feet yet.

“Mituna, shut up. He’s just staying the night because of some…er…issues.” Sollux shrugged, ruffling his brother’s hair and shoving him aside. “By the way…Dave, you never told me why. I mean, I have no problem with you staying here, feel free to sleep on the bottom bunk – Mituna sleeps on the floor half the time anyways. But still…I wanna know _why._ ” He said, sitting cross-legged on the crusty-looking beige carpet that sat sadly in the centre of the room.

“It’s a long story. Well, no…it’s not. I accidentally confessed to John, so I’m running away from home.”

Wow. It sounded astoundingly stupid when he said it out loud, and he blushed a little in embarrassment. Sollux started to chortle a bit before realizing he was actually serious about this. He managed to fix his face into something that didn’t look too teasing.

“Well…I don’t think you should run away just because of _that._ But if a night away from everything helps you out, then…feel free, I guess.” He shrugged, reaching over to grab his old laptop. Figures he wouldn’t be up for socializing.

Dave cautiously sat down on the edge of Mituna’s bunk, feeling a little guilty. He pulled out his phone – simple curiosity was the only reason.

 

Ooh. Messages from John.

 

He quickly shut off the phone – he didn’t need to see those.

 

EB: dave?

EB: dave, you there? i need to talk to you.

EB: ugh, dave!!!

EB: why arent you home? where are you? your bro is getting worried, i think.

EB: dave, you cant just run away!! thats not fair to me.

EB: dave...i need to tell you something important…

EB: i need to see you as soon as i can!


	7. Fuck the Melodrama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK @ ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave couldn’t sleep. Of _course_ he couldn’t sleep. He’d just ruined the only relationship in his life that he truly, deeply cared about, and he’d pussied out and ran away from home because of it. God, he really was an idiot.

He tossed and turned in Mituna’s bunk, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. His phone would buzz relentlessly with messages from his Bro, demanding to know his location. Dave looked through them, but obviously he didn’t want to reply. He couldn’t stay there anymore, no matter how stupid his reason for running away was.

Speaking of that…he couldn’t stay with Sollux for more than a night. He didn’t want to impose.

What was he expected to do after this? He couldn’t go back to school, not a chance in hell! He had to get out of the city. He had money, and he could easily make more if he decided to get a little more… _adventurous_ with his job.

But he knew that all these thoughts were unrealistic. He was a teenager. He had to finish school. There was no way he’d be able to _actually_ pull off running away. He knew he’d have to return home and face John at some point.

 

_Maybe I should just kill myself._

Dave was too tired to think of a better idea. If his next encounter with John went as heartbreakingly disastrous as his previous one…he might actually go through with it. Wait – no. No no no. What was he, twelve? He shouldn’t be getting this depressed over something so trivial.

His mind raced, swinging from one extreme to another just like a fucked-up pendulum. Dave didn’t get a wink of sleep, and he probably deserved a night like that, in all honesty. When the sun started to seep through the Captors’ dingy old windows, he sat up. He knew he should probably go explain himself to Bro. There was no use in being this melodramatic – he’d slipped up, said something dumb, and he’d have to face the damn consequences. Call it karma.

 

Shifting impatiently, Dave climbed out of the bed and slung his ridiculously full backpack over his shoulder, glancing down at Mituna, who was drooling on the carpet as he slept. Nice.

He scribbled a note of thanks to Sollux, leaving it on the desk. Sollux wasn’t the sort of guy to care when he left – it wasn’t that rude to him. And besides, Dave had the eerie sense of being an unwanted guest.

Stealthily, pulling out some James Bond-esque moves when he heard a stir, Dave managed to leave the house without disturbing any of its numerous inhabitants. The sun was still rising when he made his way outside, and it was so pretty that Dave almost instagrammed it. He was a hipster girl at heart, after all.

The shameful walk back to his apartment was long and arduous. The air was cold, and Dave felt his skin become covered in goose bumps. The few strangers that were out on the streets gave him judgmental looks, figuring that he was walking back from a one-night stand. It kinda felt that way, somehow.

 

He entered his apartment cautiously, closing the door as quietly as he could. Unfortunately, Bro had ears that were at least 10 times sharper than most humans, and he made an appearance approximately 2 seconds after Dave had stepped into the entrance. Roughly, Bro grabbed Dave by the shoulders and shoved his little brother up against the wall.

Dave had never seen Bro like this – his sunglasses were discarded and his hair was a mess. Plus, he was being exceedingly aggressive. That wasn’t usual.

Dave’s shoulder blades cried out in pain as he looked up into his brother’s worried eyes.

“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you, you know! I thought you’d gone and fucking killed yourself!” Bro spat, though it was obvious that his anger was out of concern, rather than legitimate rage. “That Egbert kid you hang around with came around here crying his fucking eyes out! I had to give that piece of shit three poptarts just to shut him up – he said he’d ‘ruined everything’, whatever than means.”

 

Dave’s eyes widened – John had been here? Crying?

Over _him?_

“He told me that you’d confessed your feelings or some shit to him, and that you started crying and ran off, looking like…well, in his words, ‘broken’. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. Can’t believe that prick thought he broke you.” Bro sighed, softening his grip on Dave. “No way you’d get so upset over a little gay crush, right? Thought I raised you more sensible than that…”

 

Dave couldn’t help but think that Bro was dead wrong.

But then again, so was John.

 

John had never done anything other than build Dave up, help him become a better person, and generally improve the quality of his dreary little life. He wouldn’t trade that friendship for anything. And it was then that Dave realized that he _had_ to talk to John again.

Maybe he could convince him to forget about it and they could gather up what was left of their terribly strained friendship.

“Bro…I’m sorry.” Dave said simply. “I think I should probably go talk to John.” He murmured, looking at his feet, feeling a little overwhelmed by the intensity of his own emotions and the ones of those around him.

Bro took a step back, seeming to have composed himself. He really did care about Dave, hence his outbursts and worry. But evidently, the little dude had some shit to sort out, and there was no way he was going to stand in his way.

“Go ahead. Just…don’t let him fuck you up, okay? He’s not worth it.” Bro muttered, trying to be supportive.

 

Dave smiled, setting his backpack down and pulling out his phone.

John was _totally_   worth it.

 

Immediately, Dave exited the apartment, dialing John’s number and holding the phone close to his ear as he walked. It rang enough times for him to be concerned over whether or not his best friend was actually going to answer him or not.

But his heart’s bounces and flips were stilled when he heard that familiar voice.

 

_“Dave?”_

“John, we really need to talk. Can you meet me somewhere? Like, right now?”

_“Uh – yeah, of course! Sure! Where did you have in mind?”_

Dave couldn’t help but notice that John was stuttering. He must be just as nervous as Dave was about this meet-up.

It was totally adorable.

 

“Maybe we could meet at the park? I just wanna make sure we sort things out.”

_“Yeah, of course…I’ll meet you there in five minutes, okay? I have some stuff that I wanna tell you, too.”_

And with that, he hung up. The tension was getting to Dave, and he could feel his palms sweat as his feet carried him over to the nearby park. Dammit…what was it that John wanted to tell him? The worst possible scenarios ran through Dave’s poor little mind.

_“Leave me alone forever, you gay freak.”_

_“I don’t think we can be friends.”_

_“As if I’d ever feel that way about you!”_

_“You make me uncomfortable.”_

But when Dave got to the park and saw that familiar face smiling at him, the vast majority of his fears disappeared.


	8. Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WOWIE WOW IT'S THE BEST PARTTTTT

“John-“ Dave smiled, making his way over to his best friend. The distance between them seemed like miles, though it couldn’t have been more than several metres. Dave’s breath caught in his throat, and his heart seemed to think now was the perfect moment to execute its evidently well-rehearsed acrobatic routine.

The height difference had never felt so prominent before – John had a few inches on Dave, and it unnerved him. He tilted his head back a little in order to meet the noirette’s gaze properly, and in doing so, he felt himself falling headfirst into that ocean of mindless love he’d struggled for so long to stay out of.

“Dave…I have a confession to make.” John said somberly, his smile fading and the cheery light slowly draining from his beautiful sapphire eyes. Dave would’ve taken a moment to appreciate just how goddamn _blue_ those things were had he not been absolutely terrified of what the boy in front of him was going to say.

What could John possibly have to confess? By that grim expression he was currently adopting, Dave could only assume the worst. Fuck, this was _not_ good. He was going to lose John’s friendship forever today, of that he was almost positive.

“I know about your…er… _shows_ , Dave.” John mumbled, looking down at the sidewalk, an unmistakable blush spreading across his cheeks. Well, of course he was blushing, given the absolute _lewdness_ of the topic in question. Finding out your best friend was not only gay and madly in love with you, but a _webcam stripper_ was definitely enough to make any teenage boy severely uncomfortable.

Dave wanted to throw up. The sense of unbearable dread spreading through him felt like death. Maybe he was actually dying. Maybe in a few minutes he’d collapse and his spirit would depart to a far more peaceful plane of existence, where his best friend hadn’t just found out what an absolute _slut_ he was. But life was never that easy, and although Dave felt like he was having a heart attack, he knew that he was alive and very much a healthy young man, and he’d have to have this horrifically awkward conversation with John.

_There was definitely no god._

“Yeah…about that – It’s just for the money. I don’t actually _enjoy_ doing stuff like that. I just…” Dave tried to explain, his words spilling out slurred and disorganized. Shit, he was totally losing his cool right now –

But a finger over his mouth abruptly silenced him. “Dave, I don’t wanna hear it. Let me finish telling you my side of the story, then I’ll let you explain yourself.” John frowned. He’d never been like this before – so forceful and upfront and _serious._ It sent a little shiver down Dave’s spine to know that John’s opinions about this debacle were strong enough to bring out this side of him.

“Okay-“ Dave weakly managed, looking up at John. He cursed the entire world for the fact that he’d left his sunglasses at Sollux’s house. His dignity was taking a swan dive into the eternal flames of shamelessness as he felt his cheeks burn bright red in humiliation. This was like a bad romantic comedy. Or maybe it was more like a disaster film.

“It…it was an accident. I didn’t mean to find those videos. I guess I was just a little, er, _confused_ about my sexuality. Something like that. I looked up videos of guys for the first time – not actual guys having sex, don’t worry! I’m not like, _super gay_ or anything…I just kinda wanted to see if I found guys hot.” John explained, his stutter growing worse as more and more of his epic tale was revealed.

“And I found a video of a really cute blonde guy with a nice butt, and I was kind of… _getting into it._ Like, I didn’t mean to or anything, but…he was really attractive, I guess.” He continued awkwardly, starting to ramble. “And it took me a while to realize it was _you._ Do you know your video is literally the first thing that comes up if you search ‘cute boy strips’ on Pornhub? That’s kind of a cool accomplishment!”

Dave’s mouth was hanging slightly agape as he realized that _holy shit, his best friend had most likely jacked off to a video of him._ He was unbelievably happy. The thought of John doing something like that stirred an uncomfortable warmth in his gut, and he realized that he might just be getting a boner.

“So, yeah…I looked for more videos of you. I found your page after a while, and I…I kinda signed up to that website so I could watch more of you. I created a whole account and everything. And…I dunno. My allowance has mostly been spent on getting you to take off your clothes.” John said softly, his voice lowering until it was barely audible to Dave. The expression on his face looked grim again – he was probably worried about Dave thinking he was a total pervert or something.

That’s when it all clicked in Dave’s mind.

_Oh my god – John is Eggy, isn’t he?_

“And I feel so bad about it, so dirty…and when you confessed to me, I was kinda…kinda _excited,_ but kinda worried about this whole thing at the same time. I figured now would be the best time to tell you. I mean, if you still like me after hearing all of that, then – “

Dave cut him off with a strangled noise. Shit, he’d forgotten how hard it was to speak when you were impossibly aroused. “John, no-“ He managed. “Of course I still like you- I mean, it…I’m kinda happy that you, er, _enjoy my work._ Like, it’s flattering, and I-“

Okay, there was no way he was going to be able to continue like this – his words were garbled and his sentences were barely coherent. It was like a dream. Dave pinched his arm almost hard enough to draw blood, just to make sure he wasn’t about to wake up and have an existential sobbing fest like a goddamn anime protagonist.

“Does this mean you – I mean – my feelings-“ Dave blubbered. “-they aren’t unrequited?”

John giggled a little, tentatively taking Dave’s hand in his own, running his thumb over the blonde’s pale skin. “No. They’re not.” He beamed, looking as if a massive weight had just been lifted from his shoulders.

“And…I should probably tell you something. Last night, I told Vriska that something important happened, and I couldn’t be her date to prom. I mean, I’m not expecting you to agree to this, but-“

“Yes!” Dave yelped in a completely awkward, uncalled-for manner, as if he were accepting a marriage proposal.

“You’ll go to prom with me?”

“Duh.”

John’s smile increased, if that was even humanly possible. He threw his arms around Dave and pulled him into a tight hug, and Dave tried to stop his feminine heart from making him cry tears of joy.

“Vriska had, like, three other guys who wanted to go with her, so I didn’t feel too bad.” John murmured, resting his chin on Dave’s head affectionately before pulling away from the hug.

“And Dave…?”

“Yeah-?”

“I think you have a boner.”

“Oh. Uh. Yep. That’s…uh…totally a thing that is happening right now, yes.”

“I’d love to, like, help you out with that and all, but I really have to go – I’m actually late for my dentist’s appointment.” John apologized, cheeks still a bit flushed.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, see you tomorrow-“ Dave said breathlessly, as he watched the love of his entire goddamn life walk away.

And _then_ he let his feminine heart make him cry tears of joy. It was the best goddamn day of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm probably going to make one more chapter - about prom night, of course!  
> smut might be involved if y'all want that.  
> lemme know if i should make it kinda smutty lol


	9. Prom Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yay sorry for hiatus
> 
> this is the last chap

Dave gave himself a once-over in the mirror. His breathing was heavy, and he actually felt like he might puke up some of that Kraft mac-n-cheese that he’d shoved down his throat earlier. Of course he was queasy, though. He couldn’t fuck this up. This was the one thing in his life that he just couldn’t fuck up.

 

This was his first date with John.

 

John, that boy who’d managed to break through his cool exterior and reveal that disgustingly mushy, romantic centre that evidently was underneath it the whole time. John, whose eyes had the whole goddamn ocean in them. John, whose smile could literally make time slow down, whose hugs practically gave Dave miniature heart attacks.

He was so in love that he felt sick to his stomach half the time. Not in a bad way, though. There was a constant stream of aggressive butterflies flowing through his sensitive stomach, hitting themselves on its pink walls. Whenever John made eye contact with him, one of those idiotic creatures seemed to want to fly up his throat and tell John how amazing he was.

And now, not only had John admitted to reciprocating Dave’s feelings, he’d invited Dave to the prom.

 

So of course, Dave had spent the better half of the evening preparing himself – mentally and physically. He sorted out his thoughts, practiced a bunch of gooey monologues in the mirror, and tried a fuckton of breathing exercises. He did a little bit of calming yoga or some shit. He drank one of those gross teas that tastes like ass but makes your body feel all soft and pliant, calm and at ease.

He wanted to wear something that’d impress John, but it was prom. He couldn’t get away with wearing anything revealing – it had to be formal. How Dave longed to wear a skanky cocktail dress and tease John mercilessly – but oh, he couldn’t do that. It’d upset the entire social code of the party.

So in the end, he decided on a smooth, ironed-out button-down shirt. Slim-fitting black trousers that sorta showed off his ass. A red tie. One of those typical prom outfits. Nothing special. He didn’t own a blazer or suit coat, but he didn’t think that John was the type to care about that sorta shit.

 

Dave couldn’t help but wonder if he’d get lucky and have some awkward prom sex with John. He’d spent most of last night fantasizing about it, and he really hoped that he’d be able to get past first base, at the very least. Maybe it was a strange thing to do, but Dave decided to prepare himself for the best-case scenario.

He was sitting on the tiles of the bathroom floor, lubing up his ass, when Bro walked in and gave him a confused look. “Yo, lil’ man – what the hell are you doing?” He frowned, as Dave hurriedly closed his legs. Dammit – what the fuck was this guy doing? Why hadn’t Dave remembered to lock the door?

 

“Uh…just…masturbating. Get out.” Dave muttered, using all the self-control his Bro had taught him to attain to keep from blushing.

“Obviously not. You wouldn’t be in the bathroom, otherwise.” Bro huffed, stepping inside. “You getting ready for a show? Or maybe Egbert?” He asked with a sly smirk.

“Shut up. Leave.” Dave snapped, jutting out one of his pale legs in the hopes of kicking his Bro. Unfortunately, it was a pathetic attempt, and Bro remained out of reach.

“I approve of Egbert. Do what you want. Have fun, kiddo.” Bro said nonchalantly, patting Dave’s head in a really awkward way, considering his little brother was half-naked on the floor, fingering his asshole.

 

The second Bro had left, Dave continued stretching himself out. He was admittedly an expert at cleaning and preparing his butt – he had to be, considering the amount of dildos that’d been shoved up there. And he wanted to be ready, just in case John wanted to do things.

It didn’t take him long to get ready, and he hiked up his pants as soon as he was satisfied with his level of asshole-pliancy. It was just then that he heard the doorbell ring. Dammit, he still had lubey fingers – he quickly rushed over to the sink and washed his hands.

Dave really wanted to wear his sunglasses – they just made him look like the smoothest motherfucker of all time. But it was prom, and he figured John would want to romantically gaze into his eyes or some shit like that. So he left them off and stumbled over to the door, his legs trembling with nerves and adrenaline.

 

And the sight that awaited him outside of the door was perhaps the most precious thing that he’d ever seen. John, wearing a suit that was just slightly too big on him, smiling with all his cute, fucked-up teeth. He was holding out a rose to Dave, and that was just totally adorable. Even though Dave had no idea what to do with a rose, and whether or not he should take it with him to prom or put it in water.

“Hey, Dave! You- you look really nice tonight.” John grinned, and the sincerity of his words was enough to make Dave melt into a puddle of teenage desire. He managed to stay a solid for the time being, however, and plucked the rose out of John’s hand.

“Thanks. You look great, too.” Dave said blandly, though the tremors in his voice made it obvious that he was having an internal freak-out right at that very moment. He quickly skipped into the house and filled a glass with water, placing the rose inside of it, his heart banging relentlessly against the walls of his chest.

 

He scrambled back over to John with a nervous smile. “Sorry, just had to dump that awesome flower in some H2O. Plants gotta get their drink on, right?” He mumbled lamely, only to have the love of his life grab his hand and lead him out of the apartment.

Bro grinned and waved a little, closing the door behind them.

No turning back now – this was actually happening.


	10. Much-needed Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bonus chap about hot sex

Dave could barely walk, and he was sure that his palm was sweaty and that John found it gross. But fortunately, his counterpart kept quiet about shit like that, instead making small talk. It was awkward – different from their usual topics of conversation. Maybe John was a little nervous, too. After all, he’d never been on a date before, either.

But the walk to the school was short and uneventful, and John held onto Dave tightly for a moment, stopping his entry into the party. “Dave.” He stated, his voice a whole lot more shaky than Dave was used to. It was unsettling, at the very least. Maybe John wasn’t gonna be able to go through with this, after all. He was gonna say that this was all a lie – his feelings were a lie – he’d been playing another one of his idiotic ‘pranks’.

 

“Dave, I’m a little worried.” John murmured, tugging Dave a little closer. The proximity was enough to make the blonde’s heart quiver with lust. He needed to get a grip, or he’d totally pop a boner right now. “I’m worried that they’re gonna make fun of us. I’m not embarrassed of you – that’s not it at all. I just want this to be fun, and…I don’t wanna spend prom getting made fun of for being gay.” He sighed.

Dave looked away. He hadn’t even considered that. But now that John mentioned it, it seemed like a very real problem. “You know what? We’re just gonna have to block it out. If you really wanna be with me…you’re gonna have to deal with shit like that. Just be glad we didn’t pull this shit back in middle school. I think people are gonna be a little more accepting than they would’ve been back then.” Dave rambled, trying his best to retain eye contact with the other, despite that fact that it was making him fucking shake with whatever this weird feeling was. “And…you know I love you. I couldn’t care less what they say.”

John’s worried little pout soon transformed into his usual grin, and he nodded, starting to pull Dave into the party. “Yeah, you’re right. Uh, fuck the haters!” He laughed, much to the blonde’s embarrassment. Ugh, that was possibly the stalest meme that Dave had ever encountered.

 

The prom was like most school parties, albeit with a slightly better budget – the lights whirled around the room like departed spirits, their pale glow illuminating a whole bunch of skanks with dresses hiked up to their asses. Dave wished he was dressed like one of them – John would want to fuck him for sure.

The crowd of students on the dance floor was huge, and Dave couldn’t see any of his friends. The whole damn school was here, wasn’t it? He did not want to go over there. He wanted to lean back against this nice, friendly wall and observe everyone else having fun. Unfortunately, John’s train of thought was on a different track entirely, and he tugged Dave right into the middle of the crowd.

 

Fuck.

 

Dave clutched John’s hand tightly as they found their place amongst the rampant cluster of horny, enthusiastic teenagers dancing haphazardly around them. There was lots of contact, lots of grinding, lots of hip-shaking. It made Dave dizzy to be exposed to so many humans at once, but he relaxed a little when he looked up into those familiar ocean eyes.

The next forty-five minutes were a blur, John’s hands constantly around his waist, his lips occasionally meeting Dave’s own. Contrary to what they’d both thought, no one seemed to pay them much attention – they were all too focused on their own bodies, their own friends, their own lives.

This made it easier for Dave to grab John’s wrists and slide them down a little so his best friend was effectively grabbing his ass. “John-“ He panted in what he hoped was a seductive tone, rather than a I’m-tired-and-want-to-leave tone. It worked, judging by the rush of blood that flowed up to John’s peachy cheeks.

 

Dave pressed his hips up against John’s, biting his lip. At this point, he was pulling out all the stops – he wanted John. He’d always wanted John. But in that moment, in that warm, sweaty, brightly-lit room, he wanted him more than ever. So he did what anyone would’ve done, and grinded mercilessly against the other’s crotch, letting out soft little sighs that insinuated his desires.

John’s body picked up on Dave’s not-so-subtle hints, judging by the erection that was slowly but surely forming in his pants. He looked mortified, but Dave only smiled. “What’s wrong?” He asked, like a fucking sexy minx – or at least, that’s what he hoped to come across as.

“Dave, I—I have a boner. I gotta go.” He blurted under his breath, giving the blonde an urgent look that was totally hilarious. “I’ll come with you…” Dave offered softly, grabbing the other’s wrist and looking up at him from beneath his long eyelashes.

 

Dave’s heart was burning, and he felt like it’d utterly consume him if they didn’t get out of there right that very second. Fortunately, before he knew it, John was tugging him out of the party, and into the cold night air. He breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the cool atmosphere against his pale skin.

“John – c’mere.” Dave smiled, his legs trembling with arousal and anticipation as he pulled his boyfriend behind the school. The chance of anyone coming out here was pretty low, since he knew for a fact that most of the horny teenagers would bang in the bathrooms. Apparently, girls were a little wary of outdoor sex. Or at least, that’s what he hoped. He’d probably just made that shit up.

 

“Dave, we can’t—people might see--“ John protested as Dave leaned against the white wall, his skin ghostly in the moonlight.

“Shut up, no one’s gonna come out here. I promise.” He cooed, pulling John down to kiss him. Evidently, that was enough of an argument for the visibly-aroused teen, since he not only reciprocated the kiss, but shoved Dave’s shoulders up against the wall and pressed his body against the other’s.

Oh, Dave couldn’t possibly be happier – it was one of those moments that he wanted to last forever. All that awkward teenage frustration was evaporating in the air around them as they kissed. John’s tongue messily found its way into Dave’s mouth, and he didn’t bother to fight it – he only encouraged it. He could’ve sworn that he was malleable in that moment, each touch John made leaving a permanent indent on his skin.

 

When they broke the kiss for air, the look in John’s eyes had changed. There was a little less innocence, which came as a surprise to Dave. It was admittedly a turn-on. And this loss of purity was evident in the noirette’s actions, too – his hands immediately went to Dave’s tie, undoing it and tossing it aside.

Dave giggled, his voice shuddery from desire as he looked up at John, who was now working on the blonde’s shirt buttons. How fucking amazing was this? Dave thought he’d have to seduce this guy, but now he was doing it all on his own. Fast learner.

 

Dave’s shirt hung open, and he could feel John’s fingers inch themselves beneath the waistband of his trousers. “Hey, dude, how far are we gonna…?” Dave asked shyly, his sentence trailing off a little.

“I…oh, jeez, I’m so sorry!” John spluttered, instantly turning about twenty shades redder and releasing his grip on Dave. “I haven’t been asking you if you’re okay with all this…I just, I just, my boner kinda…kinda got the better of me!” He chuckled, choking on his words as he backed away.

 

Dave rolled his eyes and undid his trousers, dropping them down to his ankles and kicking them away. “If you want me…just take me. I’ve been waiting for a long fucking time. You better not chicken out now.” He said softly, unable to hide his own (and quite a bit smaller, dammit) boner.

John let out a heavy, unexpectedly sexual sigh, pressing Dave up against the wall again, grinding his hips against the other’s with a newfound fervor. “Fuck, Dave…” he moaned as their erections moved against each other.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping you’ll do.” Dave stated nonchalantly, trying his best not to moan. He didn’t want John to think he was that weak, after all. Fuck, this was going so fast, but Dave had no interest in slowing it down. He wanted John inside him, right then and there. So when John’s trembling fingers started to tug off his boxers, he made no noise of protest – only a soft one of encouragement.

 

Dave let out a little gasp as he felt the cold night air hit his erection – gosh, this was fucking embarrassing. He was the only one exposed, and it just wasn’t fair. He blushed heavily, like a moe-moe schoolgirl, and looked down at the extremely fascinating grass beneath his sock-clad feet, his shoes forgotten in a patch of dirt a few metres away.

“Dave, you’re so…you’re so fucking sexy…” John said huskily, in a tone of voice Dave had no idea he was capable of. When did Egbert go and get all fucking seductive? It was absolutely unexpected, and totally awesome.

Dave grinned when John unzipped his pants, tugging both them and his boxers down around his thighs, revealing something the blonde had been thinking about for a long time. John’s dick was…kinda…bigger than Dave had thought.

 

By a considerable amount, too.

 

Not as big as some of his dildos, of course, but still pretty big for a skinny white boy like Egbert.

 

“John…” Dave whispered seductively, reaching a hand down and grazing the skin of the other’s boner gently. “I want you- I want you in me-“ He murmured, trying his best to keep his voice from shaking. “I…I prepared myself earlier. You can just put it in, it’s…it won’t hurt.”

Evidently, this was all too much for John – he grabbed Dave by the thighs and lifted him up against the wall, aligning himself with Dave’s entrance. The blonde kept resisting the bullshit urge to pinch himself over and over on an endless loop – this just seemed too dreamlike to be true.

But it wasn’t a dream, and Dave’s body became acutely aware of that the second John entered him. It was so different from doing it himself – so much warmer, so much more satisfying. John’s face was contorted in a frankly beautiful combination of pleasure and surprise. “Dave…you feel so amazing…” He murmured in what Dave could’ve sworn was awe.

 

Only Egbert would have that sort of reaction to losing his virginity.

 

Dave needily bucked his hips down to meet the other’s, wanting him to move. Thank god that he’d had the foresight to get himself ready for this. “John, c’mon…hurry up and fuck me already-“ he pleaded, his white skin flushed with desire.

He moaned the loudest goddamn moan of his life when John started to move inside him – it was even better than he’d always pictured it. And he’d built it up in his head a whole fucking lot, so that was really saying something. John’s urgent, inexperienced thrusts were pure ecstasy for Dave, and he knew he couldn’t last long like this.

John was panting, his hot breath constantly brushing against Dave’s ear, mixing with the occasional moan. “Ah—I love you so much, so much-“ He murmured, and Dave’s heart skipped a beat. John wholeheartedly loved him, and the knowledge was bliss.

 

Then John did something that Dave thought he’d never be able to do – he hit that spot, the spot that always drove Dave crazy. “John-! Right there--!! Ah, fuck—“ Dave exclaimed, his eyes watering up from the pleasure. John thankfully obliged his orders and hit that spot again and again.

 

And again, and again…

 

Dave came across his own chest, crying out the other’s name hoarsely and relentlessly. His entire body tensed, his back arching and toes curling. He tightened around John, too, and this was enough to make his lover release deep inside him.

They were both totally spent, melting in each other’s arms and breathing hard.

 

John tentatively set Dave back on his feet, and looked down at him, his face still red from what they’d just done. “Fuck…that was…”

“Awesome?”

“Yeah. No, more than awesome. It was…I just…I wanna be with you forever, Dave.”

And Dave fell in love again. Even harder than he had the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> lol same


End file.
